So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
sarcasm needs its own font
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
