maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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