We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
