its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
and she was petting her beer can
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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