You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
