I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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