Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
