Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
