So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
