Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
