I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
