I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
