Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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