I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
