I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
