I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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