Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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