kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
