Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
