How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
