My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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