i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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