I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
