Why are handjobs necessary in class?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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