i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
