I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
