im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
