i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
