He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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