I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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