OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
