Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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