How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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