You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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