hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
