Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
