she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
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