We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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