Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
