wanna go halves on a baby?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
