I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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