is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
