Rock
Scissors
Fuck
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
