Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize