I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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