accomplished twins. life is a go
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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