we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
3pm strippers are depressing
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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