I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
