and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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