but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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