Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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