thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
