I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
