Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
