omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
