i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
