guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
