My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
