she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
