when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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