your parents love me but you hate me
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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