I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
