the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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