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Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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